hey, happy 2010!
*big hugs* to everyone who keeps reading this little place via rss or as a google friend! means a lot! gonna do a post update in the next week but want to paste here two posts from other places! which is a bit of a cheap copy and paste but want them here too :)
After my last posting in August which was a really bad month things did get a lot better! 2009 was a bit of a shit year but that month really was the worst! doing a bit better now and hoping 2010 is better! will keep updating every so often :)
This was something I posted in a Facebook note to only certain friends on the 11th November 2009:-
Wake Up Boo!
hey loves,
so couldn't decide whether to post this on my private blog or on fb to my best friends and family filter only or just make is visible to all my fb friends. I decided to make it visible to all because I hate hiding things from some people and also cant be arsed to work out who should see it or not!
So I think during 2009 I have come to accept and not dismiss other suggestions and ideas and its been suggested to me by counsellors that perhaps I have withdrawn from life and suffering from bad anxiety rather than any actual physical illness. Up to this year I would have argued massively against that but now think it could be true. This has been since 1996.
But talking to a counsellor in my life today that I see every month she suggested the idea that I was going through a bad time in college when I first got ill and it was a confusing and dark time. I withdrew from people and society and it has issues to do with sexuality and having a man in my life. I think this could be true, that by hiding myself away I am "protecting" myself from hurt or rejection.
I have isolated myself to avoid any romantic relationships and I believe that to be true
I think I need to clear away the past and throw out everything old, anything to do with unhappy times an times at college and move on with life. I am trapped in a bubble. Maybe all this realisation helps or maybe it does absolutely nothing, we shall see
This is not a depressing post, I am doing okay at the moment but slowly changing my life for the better
much love D xx
so couldn't decide whether to post this on my private blog or on fb to my best friends and family filter only or just make is visible to all my fb friends. I decided to make it visible to all because I hate hiding things from some people and also cant be arsed to work out who should see it or not!
So I think during 2009 I have come to accept and not dismiss other suggestions and ideas and its been suggested to me by counsellors that perhaps I have withdrawn from life and suffering from bad anxiety rather than any actual physical illness. Up to this year I would have argued massively against that but now think it could be true. This has been since 1996.
But talking to a counsellor in my life today that I see every month she suggested the idea that I was going through a bad time in college when I first got ill and it was a confusing and dark time. I withdrew from people and society and it has issues to do with sexuality and having a man in my life. I think this could be true, that by hiding myself away I am "protecting" myself from hurt or rejection.
I have isolated myself to avoid any romantic relationships and I believe that to be true
I think I need to clear away the past and throw out everything old, anything to do with unhappy times an times at college and move on with life. I am trapped in a bubble. Maybe all this realisation helps or maybe it does absolutely nothing, we shall see
This is not a depressing post, I am doing okay at the moment but slowly changing my life for the better
much love D xx
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